My teen daughter asked this perfectly legitimate question in
the middle of house cleaning, interrupting one of my typical soliloquies on the
problems of modern storytelling. (If you
think the PulpRev-o-Sphere is bad, trying living with one of us. This isn’t an act, it is a part of our DNA.) In this case, her father was in the process
of lamenting that after four hours of screen time, the best Starlord has been
able to wrest from Gamorrah is a pinky-grip and a head on the shoulder. And that even after some stellar (heh) dread
game with the Evil Space Angel Queen to start Volume 2.
As a gal in her mid-teens, she her mind has been programmed
to think of the books with shaven chested men on the cover in the dry goods aisle
of the local grocery store. Or perhaps
some sort of anime sub-sub-genre I’m too old to have heard of let alone
understand. We are going to have to
watch a few John Wayne movies to help her understand how universal the concept
of romance can be, when done right.
Until then, it was left to me to explain that no man can ask
for a greater reward than the love of a good woman. Compared to that, all the riches in the universe
are but a pale shadow. Thankfully, the
old films linger in our home, so she has a few points of reference. In the penultimate shot of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indy walks off
screen arm-in-arm with the pretty young brunette. Think how much less satisfying that ending
would be if Marion play-punched Indy in the shoulder. I pointed out there isn’t a man alive that thinks
the ending of The Princess Bride
would be improved without that last kiss – even ten year old Fred Savage
understands the power of a kiss sealing a better future for the hero. My daughter loves the film “Secondhand Lions”,
and the epic subplot of Uncle Hub’s one true love provides a glimpse of the
possibilities.
So yes, I explained.
Men do love romance, but the open expression of a committed love and the
promise of a woman’s love as reward for heroic striving against all odds. Not the drama heavy romance of prime-time
television or the relationship drama of daytime soap operas or the pointless
hoop-jumping of A Knight’s Tale. (Prove you deserve me by becoming the biggest
loser in the realm? Really?)
Then it was time to turn the tables on her. Did she want a man to struggle and rage
against the world in an effort to reach her?
Did she want to be seen as a prize worth fighting for? Or did she want men to think of her as “one
of the guys”, just another pal to hang around with who can take care of her own
problems without him?
It really gave her something to think about. She disappeared into her room, I assumed to
spend some time in deep thought considering this new way of looking at movies.
Of course, it was only the next day that I realized the
change in direction of the conversation was a clever ruse on her part to distract
me long enough to allow her to escape from the house cleaning. She escaped my clutches by getting me to monologue.
I’ll get you next time, daughter mine!