Saturday, July 30, 2016

Gravedancing on the Ghostbusters

At this point it looks like Ghostbustiers is going to turn a profit of one whole dollar (if you don't count the massive marketing budget as an expense.)  Houston, we have convergence!  The shelf-life of interest in this flop sweat drenched production is rapidly expiring around the culture, but that's due largely to the fact that this movies supporters were on the wrong side of history.  They've got to try and re-write history fast and move on before anyone notices that us internet trolls were right all along.

To bring you in on the fun, I read through a few choice autopsies.

Too late - even The Nation has been forced to admit that we were right: The ‘Ghostbusters’ Trolls Were Right, going so far as to admit that, "The jokes do change when the characters are women".  They admit it in a title and byline that turn out to be little more than click-bait, though.  That whole article isn't about how right we were - The Nation would never stoop so low as to conduct and open and honest analysis of their position in light of new information - it's actually a long discussion of how great and refreshing Ghostbusters: The Enwomaning truly is, and what wonderful performances the leads present, all written with the usual White Night undertones.

It isn't much, but it's a start.

With, "Ghostbusters needed to show that black women can be scientists too", the Guardian gives us yet another example of Orwell's warning that you can't scream at Emmanuel Goldstein loud enough - sooner or later even a true believer like Paul Feig winds up in Room 101.  Despite the full convergence of his movie, it didn't converge hard enough.  The writer of that piece inadvertently points out that Leslie Jones is a fantastic actress, given that her character "was portrayed as warm, funny, genuine and smart," all of those things that Jones fails to portray in real life.  While this movie is used as an excuse to publish a high school English assignment where teacher required everyone to write five sentences on five minority women that like, did some sciencey stuff or whatever (ugh!), it is telling that despite everything the leftist press still can find room in what passes for its heart for a little criticism at him for yelling too quietly.

But we're going to save most of our attention for this delightful little entry for the Memory Hole from something called Page Six: Mattel Says Ghostbusters Toy Sales Were Great, Proving Gender Doesn't Make A Toy Less Cool.

First off all, straight out of the gate, you're asking a marketing guy for confirmation that people like the product he's selling.  Of course he's going to tell you that people love the product.  They can't get enough of the product.  If you want to be cool, you will also buy the product. 
After the glowing success of the premiere of Ghostbusters -
We're off to a great start here.  The premier of Ghostbustiers was only considered successful because it wasn't a total failure.  You know what?  I can't do this.  A lot of bloggers love to take articles apart line by line, but I just can't do it.  Suffice it to say that every line in this article is a lie carefully crafted to seduce the sort of status-conscious Oprah watching mom who gives no thought to media and is willing to swallow any lie to be part of the in-crowd no matter how strongly it clashes with their own experience. 

These ladies will believe sales are strong even as they are dragged through the toy-aisle at Target and see the little red stickers on the Ghostbustier toys sitting on end cap shelves.  To combat this reality, other articles quote Target's marketing department spin they provide somehow provides actual information.  Apparently, Target is now referring to their decision to off-load the unwanted Ghostbustier toys at fire sale prices - before the movie was even released - as a mistake. 

And maybe it was.

Let me remind you that Target has been willing to eat ten billion dollars in stock price decline rather than admit their blind devotion to the Narrative is off-putting to most consumers.  You really think they would bat an eye at losing a few million on over-priced and unwanted Ghostbustier toys?  Those things will sit there for a few months before they wind up sitting next to Sneaky Pete on a dime-store shelf for a few decades, but they won't be allowed to serve as evidence in the trail between Internet Trolls vs. The Great Convergence.  These things will go the way of the Atari E.T. game cartridges, but they won't wear a little red sticker of shame while Target stands.

Which, if we're lucky, won't be for long.

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